Will Follies

Ah, Will. I talk so much about Adelaide's mischief on here, sometimes I think Will's incredible little mind doesn't get its rightful due. There's so much to say (and he says it a lot. All the time. Constantly. Talking.) but today, he really left us speechless.

We went to Target this evening to get a few items for the house, and Will was talking to us about a shirt he wanted. I was helping him try it on, and he pulled it on over the shirt he was wearing. After we got it on, I fluffed his hair back up and smiled. "Your hair is looking really nice, Will," I told him.

Ben laughed. "He needs a haircut!" he protested. Will smiled big at his daddy, looking proud.

"I do need a haircut," Will said. Without pausing, he continued. "I trimmed it up because it was in my eyes."

Ben and I paused, aghast. "What did you say?" I asked, thinking maybe I misunderstood.

"I cut my hair today," he said, his huge eyes brutally earnest.

"What?" I said, trying not to go apoplectic in the aisle at Target. "You did WHAT?"

He shrugged and looked back down at his book he brought with him. "I used safety scissors," he said, as if that would settle the matter.

"WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DO THAT?" I asked, unbelieving, but also trying not to laugh.

"You told me not to come out of my room until it was clean," he said, still calm and assuming his unassailable logic would win the day. "My hair was in my eyes. I didn't want to come out since my room was still messy, so I just cut it myself with safety scissors."

I looked at Ben, very frustrated, but really more desperate than anything, because I really wanted to roll on the floor laughing, but I knew if I gave in to that impulse, he'd decide independently altering his personal appearance with ostensibly "kid-safe" tools would amuse me. That's a dangerous chance to take.

Ben stepped in. "Will, we don't cut our own hair."

He really wanted to laugh, too. What a trooper my hubby is. I think after some further discussion, it sank in.

I hope so. I certainly don't want to be managing homemade tattoos anytime soon.

Just in case you think freelance writing is all glitz and glamour...

The lovely and accomplished satirist Elizabeth Hanes penned this little gem tonight after getting fed up with the Craigslist postings for freelance writers. (Want some examples of this? Check out the Craigslist Curmudgeon.) Anyway, it is simply beyond hilarious. Maybe this is funnier to me because I see this sort of thing all the time, but I hope some of you will see the hilarity in Elizabeth's wit, as well.

Check out "If all CL Job Postings were for Freelance Writers" by Elizabeth Hanes.

Amazing Alphabet!

I found this amazing alphabet tonight, and I just had to post it. Whether you have kids or not, this is really just so cool. It's called "Bembo's Zoo." Basically, you start out at a screen of pulsating alphabet letters. Click one -- for our example, K. The word "KOALA" appears all across the screen. It then morphs into differently shaped and sized letters (below).

The letters then begin to move around, morphing still, until they come to a stop. It may not look like anything right away, but look at the whole picture, and you'll see...

A koala bear, formed only from letters in the word koala! Go check out Bembo's Zoo alphabet and try them all out -- it is really a wonderful show!

Our day trip: Aquarium of the Americas, NOLA

Yes, despite the sorry state of our house and the number of home improvement projects begging to be completed, we decided life was too short to worry about the dishes and headed to New Orleans today. We thought about the zoo, but rain threatened, so we headed over to the Aquarium of the Americas.

We expected Will to enjoy it, but Adelaide's might have been the most enthusiastic visitor of all of us. I guess we should have expected it -- Adelaide + water + animals = Luuuuuuuv. Or something like that. She's a naturalist, to be sure, and she was thrilled at the visit. It also alleviated some mommy guilt on my part -- Go Diego Go was mentioned more than once today, and Adelaide even recognized the macaws and remembered their sound!

After the aquarium, we headed to Cafe du Monde...well, okay, not the original. Will was BEAT after traipsing around the exhibits, and while Ben and I were all for walking over to the French Market, neither of us desired to haul a tired 6-year-old on our backs. So we went to the one in Metairie, and WOW was it GOOD. I mean, INCREDIBLE. Will got a hot chocolate, Ben and I shared an iced cafe au lait, and Adelaide chowed down with the rest of us on some steaming hot beignets. We were left with full bellies and powdered sugar blizzards on our clothes...a good deal.

Summer Splash...fun time at Jambalaya Park

Only in Louisiana do you take your children to a beautiful public park named after a spicy sausage dish. But, ah well, it is a fun place. We used to live in Gonzales, which is just about 20 minutes from BR, and I had taken Will here a couple of times before Adelaide came along. I was *really* relieved (and rather surprised) I didn't forget how to get here. But Jambalya Park is a really family-friendly little public area in Gonzales. It's quite attractive, really, with large fountains, attractive landscaping, and even a playground and a pool seperate from the Splash Park. (I wonder if it being adjacent to the Gonzales City Police Department has anything to do with it's good condition?)

Adelaide, of course, stormed into the playground, fearless and unaware she was smaller than many other revelers. She didn't care. I was happy she stayed still long enough to get her earplugs in. (That is a whole other blog posting...while her ear infections have been significantly reduced thanks to the surgery, she now thinks that anything and everything can go into her ear. I've recently had to stop her from putting cheerios, cashews, and even a paperclip in there.) They had a blast, though. And the most beautiful think is that because it's a splash park, the water is contained enough I can safely shoot photos, and I could also wear normal clothes.

The bottom photo of the group is the best shot I had of the entire playground -- or "spray-ground," as Will corrects me -- area, but it is cute. It was a bit crowded, but not too bad. And they got to splish-splash until their eyes were bleary and their bodies were nap-ready, which is great for me.

The Lipstick Incident

"Honey, where's Adelaide?"

That phrase is always a harbinger of trouble in our home. Whenever we lose track of our daughter, whom we have affectionately dubbed "The Tornado," we all become a bit panicked. That, and we start a bath.

So today, as I called out to Ben asking to Adelaide's whereabouts, I was nervous. But he wasn't.

"She's in her room playing," he called back out to me. He and Will were engaged in a competitive game of "Worms" on the Xbox 360, but I didn't doubt his parental GPS. Okay, I figured, she's in her room. I listened to the monitor for a moment, expecting to hear happy baby noises, but I heard none. Still, I didn't panic.

Clearly, it's time to send the mommy radar in for a tune-up.

I went about my business conquering the Himalayan situation in the laundry room while Ben and Will engaged themselves in electronic male bonding, not worrying about the baby's whereabouts until I heard Ben's voice fill the house.

"ADELAIDE!!!" he cried, his voice a virtual mixed message, shouting confusion, horror, and some small degree of amusement. I ran into the next room to see my daughter covered in a sticky red mess. While most mothers would have called 911 immediately, the look on her face said it all. She looked positively proud of herself, her grin lighting up her now crimson-stained face.

I sniffed the air. Lipstick. Expensive lipstick, too, I thought. But that was secondary to the church dress she was still wearing and getting her adventures in makeup off her body. (That's why her torso is so clean -- the church dress took the brunt of the trunk decorating damage.)

So yes, we ran a bath. And I washed the adorable dress in hot water...though I haven't yet checked the results. Most of it came off, but for those parents who have read The Cat in The Hat Comes Back a few times, let me tell you -- the bathtub had a pink ring around it when little miss messy was done.

And while Ben handled the live mess, I took my "Holy Cow" cleaner that cleans ANYTHING and headed, with a full roll of paper towels, to the scene of the crime. I was right -- it was my Clinique lipstick. At least she has good taste.

Oh, and kudos to Ben, who in the midst of undressing her, running the bath, and of course determining it was a non-toxic substance she'd gotten all Tammy Faye Bakker with, he paused for a moment to think about the historical implications. He was always a little disappointed I didn't get better photos of Will's Jackson Pollack interior paint treatment, so he reminded me we should really get a couple of shots of her while she was doused with her luscious look.

And aren't you all relieved he did?

What we did today

Well, it was a rainy day here, and the kids were cramped up inside. So who becomes their playset? Daddy, of course! And don't think it's just the little boys playing rough here. Adelaide is in on it all, too. She gets in there and tumbles along with the best of them.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a sunnier day though...I think Daddy will be sore after this interlude.

okay, okay...last photo upload today...seriously!

More photos from today...

Just can't get enough

My parents have a photo of me from right around this age where I am loaded down with pacifiers in my mouth. It's three or four of them -- I can't remember off the top of my head. Anyway, in my family, it's kind of a famous photo. So when I went into Adelaide's room today and saw this double-fisted pacy action, I had to get some shots. Mom and Dad, this one's for you. :)

A few more for you

Which one do YOU like best?

The stylized color photo?
The bright and colorful option?
The black and white?

Let me know what you think! Leave a comment and show your preference.

The Little "Graduate"

I used to make fun of Kindergarten "Graduations." I thought they were overdone and silly -- what's the big deal, I thought.

Now I know.

Will had Kindergarten graduation today. I guess it was a little more special for us because he won't be going back to this school next year -- it was goodbye. We're excited about homeschooling, but we did have a good year here.

It was a cute ceremony. They called them up, one by one, and presented them with their portfolios. They read little statements from the kids about what their favorite things were and what they wanted to be when they grow up. Of course, they said "Will wants to be an architect, engineer, or inventor when he grows up." Afterwards, Will took issue with that.

"I want to be an architect, engineer, AND inventor. They said 'or.' It should have been 'and,'" he said matter-of-factly.

Will's little statement, read by the teacher, also said he enjoyed singing "Harvest Moon" because it got stuck in his head, and that he likes recess and center time.

The kids sang "We Are the Young" and "Rainbow Connection," which will be stuck in my head for at least a week. When we got home, we looked at his portfolio, which was a lot of entertainment. (I'll post some here later."

Anyway, it was really cute, and now I have a "Kindergarten Graduate."

*sigh*

Now for the rest of the kitchen...

When we bought this house two years ago, we knew the microwave was about to go. It was awful looking. The door was cracked on the plastic, and it was about as ancient as over-the-range units get. So it took us a while, but Ben just installed this flashy new superstah in the kitchen. He did a great job, and I have to say, it makes the rest of the appliances look like dowdy old maids.

Of course, as with all home improvement projects in this house, he did have to do battle with the Ghosts of Idiots Past. Yes, someone (we think probably the previous owners, who made a host of bad design and "improvement" decisions we've had to undo and redo) decided when they were going to put the ugliest backsplash in town up, that rather than tile it, the way one normally does -- you know, with thin set and all that fun stuff -- that they'd just use construction glue.

Yep, construction glue.

Basically, the new microwave was a bit larger. So Ben got a tile cutter, scored the tiles just where they needed to be cut off, and tried to pop them off. No dice. The whole tile started cracking and coming off. He was confused until he looked on the back and discovered the work of He Who Should Be Banned From Lowes. (That's the nice name we call him.) So basically, he had to tear off the whole line of tile, which really burned Ben's biscuits (figuratively, not literally, of course, if you notice the toasty biscuits he made me on mother's day below our new appliance) since there are many half-done projects haunting him in the house. (Disclaimer: these half-done projects are usually my fault. I start something and then can't finish it because of the kids, and, well, we could use some DIY To The Rescue sometimes.) Anyway, the shiny-diviney new microwave looks so nice, I am now itching to replace the Reagan-era knobs as well as the terribly placed wall-oven and dishwasher. But all in good time, I know, all in good time. After all, who knows what strangeness we'll encounter when we begin those tasks. At least Ben has Hazmat training.

Slowly....losing....mind...

I shouldn't be writing this post right now. I have too much to do.

And yet, I must. Both of my kids are in the bathtub right now, and I'm just a demented cry away from them. No danger.

Oh, wait. Actually, I had to run in there for a second. Adelaide took her $50 custom-fitted ear molds out and tried to chew on them like they're hot-pink bubble gum. At least we caught her.

So, as I was saying, I am slowly -- hold on! I'll be right back!

Sorry. Will said it looked like Adelaide was testing out her diaperless power in the pool water. False alarm, but we're careful after she doused all her squishy foam bath letters in poop this weekend as I sat right beside her and played with her. It was diarrhea -- she couldn't help it. But seeing her go from clean bath baby to child-in-a-dangerous-cesspool-of-poop in 0.5 seconds imparts a bit of stress.

So, anyway. I am slowly losing my mi -- what? Oh, hold on. That's the phone ringing. It was an editor asking me for a last-minute assignment. I could say no, but I don't want to. I want to write. I just have to understand that my brain will be stretched to the limits of what God intended as I attempt to melodically string words together as a cacophony of Dora the Explorer and Will's endless streams of questions rattle me back to reality.

At least the house is clean.

No, not really. I can't even pull off that lie in cyberspace. The kitchen is piled with dishes, the laundry room beckons with its Himalayan piles of clothing, and even the master bedroom is a haven for discarded and now hidden boxes of raisins and papers that I really *should* go through.

So what was I saying? Oh, yeah. I'm slowly losing my mind. But no time for that now -- I'm on deadline and my kids are clean.

I love my Nikon

I love it, love it, love it. I could never get the depth of focus before that I can now. That's a photo of my hydrangea from the front yard. My nature photos before were just not exciting. I mean, they were really, really boring. And even though I'm very new at nature stuff, I can see what this camera is capable of through my budding hydrangea. And that is with the kit lens, not a macro lens or any special settings. Amazing!
And I love the detail I get here. My lighting wasn't quite right, but I was able to fix it up a bit without it becoming "noisy" with speckles and such. I mean, I'll always look at this photo and know she was chowing on cheddar sun chips before going out in the backyard and playing in the dirt. Now if the homeowner's association would just get rid of that friggin' dead tree cluttering up all my photos...but I digress. I just needed to make a public declaration of love for my new photography equipment!

Do you have a *problem,* mommy?

Alternately titled, "It's Too Dang Early In The Morning To Put That Thing in My Face."

Seriously, though, her expressions lately have just been classic. And can you believe it...I now HAVE my much, much, MUCH longed-for DSLR! For my birthday, Ben got together with each family and devised a plan to deliver my Nikon D80, and I just couldn't be happier. It is incredible. The speed, the clarity, the color...it blows my mind. I love the depth of focus control and manual abilities I have, and I know I haven't even scratched the surface of what this camera and I are capable of doing together! And Laila is already regretting it. "Seriously, Mom, could you PUT that thing away?"

Hehe. I can't wait until she's 13 years old and makes this SAME face at me. It will be a nice comparison -- "incredulous Laila faces through the ages."

And now my DSLR is ready to grab them all and freeze them in photographic time.

*big happy smile*